My Leathers - A Bikers Poem

My Leathers

My leathers have been with me since I started motorcycling,

I tend to wear them whenever I’m riding.

They are faded from the elements, stretched and saggy from use,

but they still keep me from taking abuse.

My leathers bare the scars, scrapes and abrasions from a few slips and some spills,

and my leathers still keep me warm from those morning chills.

Despite them being my body guard we have become old friends,

going on long rides together taking on hills, valleys and bends.

My leathers have sheltered me from the rain and from the fog,

they even have blocked the bite of an angry dog.

They have protected me from flying rocks and from bugs,

and have been on the receiving end of many hugs.

My leathers have shaded me from the blistering sun,

on a long, dry and hot Texas run.

Over time they have become supple and comfortable like a well broken in boot,

as a bonus, there’s a place for my gun in case I need to shoot.

My leathers are getting old, wrinkly and are slightly tattered,

but they continue to protect me from getting battered.

They have screened me from the wind,

and they will stay with me to the end.

But at the end of this long ride,

it’s not just a cows hide,

It’s my skin.

© 2012 - Torch

Ride on,

Torch

Midlife Motorcycle Madness $25.00 J&P Cycles Gift Card Contest

Midlife Motorcycle Madness has teamed up with J&P Cycles to bring it's readers a $25.00 Gift Card Contest.

Caption this photo and get a chance to win a $25.00 Gift Card from J&P Cycles:

Contest time frame: June 1-8, 2011

Prizes: J&P Cycles will provide a $25 gift card for the winner.

Contest Rules and Regulations:

Contestants enter to win by leaving a comment captioning the provided photo and then stating what they will buy to upgrade their bike with using the $25.00 gift card. You may make the comment as short or as long as needed. All entries will be judged by me on humor, wittiness and creativity. After the contest ends I will read and judge all entries and post the winner. The winner can email me their contact information to provide to J&P Cycles. J&P Cycles will issue the $25.00 Gift Card to the Winner.

Remember, it is a two part entry comment, the photo caption and what the $25.00 gift card will be used for.

Be sure & support our sponsor by shopping at J&P Cycles:

J&P Cycles

Harley Parts

Ride on & Good Luck!
Torch

Fast Cages / NASCAR

Videos & Photos From My First NASCAR Experience

Taken on my HTC EVO

Parking at Texas Motor Speedway

It was a very windy Saturday

For a moment I thought I was at a People of Wal-Mart Convention.

It is larger than it looks just driving by on the freeway.

I will not disclose how much I $pent.

Bunch of 200 mph left turns. 

Row 6 Section 128, Just outside the Pits where they gunned it to get going.

At speed they go around the 1.5 mile tri-oval in about 38 seconds.

Some Clips:

Ride on,
Torch

Happy Thanksgiving 2010 !

Everyone have a safe & happy Turkey Day!

Ride on,

Torch

Atlas Rider is Heading to South America

 

Atlas Rider is Heading to South America

A fellow Blogger and Rider, Bill Dwyer from Atlas Rider, is preparing to head out on a trek by motorcycle through and around South America. Bill will be video-documenting his trip on YouTube. All the details can be found below in Bills official press release:


Contact: Bill Dwyer
Tel: 708-280-9115
Email: dwyer.bill@gmail.com
Website: http://www.atlasrider.com/


TRAVELING OFF THE GRID, ON YOUTUBE

A motorcycle journey through Latin America documented on YouTube

On August 15th Bill Dwyer sets off for an eight month trip that takes him from America to Argentina, spanning over 20 countries and 25,000 miles. Without a cellphone, and infrequent internet access he will no longer always be "connected" or "on the grid." He travels alone, but brings along a virtual audience for the ride through documenting his journey on YouTube.

As a software developer, Bill grew weary of his corporate job. He sold most of his belongings and traded his cubical for the open road. Food, gas and shelter will be his only concerns. No more timelines to follow or deadlines to meet, only serendipity creates the destiny of his road map.

Perceptions of Mexico and Latin American countries as a seething breeding ground of violence have been widespread. Bill believes that people and the world around us are not as dangerous as we sometimes are lead to believe. The success of his journey should prove to be a reminder that among a seemingly hostile world there is still some good out there.

Bill is an avid adventure motorcyclist and blogger for 3 years. He has built up an audience from all walks of life and continues to entertain, educate and inspire them to take the plunge and seek out adventures of their own.


View Larger Map

Here is the link where Bill made his blog announcement: http://www.atlasrider.com/?p=1234

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If you would like more information about Bill Dwyer's journey you can visit http://www.atlasrider.com/, or to schedule an interview with him, he can be contacted at 708-280-9115 or by email at dwyer.bill@gmail.com.

So, go visit Atlas Rider and get signed up to follow along on his journey. Bill is on all the social medias so hook up with him and tell him Torch sent ya!

Ride on,
Torch

Turns out I’m Just a Poser

Turns out I’m Just a Poser....


Ran across this chart on the internet, and I came to the realization that I’m not a 1%’er, a Biker, a Chopper Rider, or a Motorcyclist, I’m Just a “Poser”.

The Urban Dictionary describes Posers as:

“A poser is someone who tries to fit into a profile they aren't. People who try to give off the impression that they are one thing when they are really another.

Also, a poser can be one who says they can do something that they can't….”

Here are the reasons why I’m just a “Poser”:

1. I don’t ride a Chopper I ride a Cruiser.

2. I don’t ride a Harley Davidson; I ride a Yamaha V-Star 1100 Classic.

3. I wear a helmet, (a half helmet anyway).

4. I occasionally wear a Dew Rag my daughter gave me as a gift, or the ones my mother-in-law picked up for me to keep my hair in line and sweat out of my eyes while I ride.

5. My cell phone is a Palm Treo running MS Windows Mobile.

6. I wear my inexpensive Timex Ironman watch on my commute to and from work.

7. I wear an oversized FMC Leather Jacket when the weather warrants it and an OSI Cool Mesh Jacket in summer.

8. I don’t carry a check book and my wallet is usually empty.

9. I tend to shy away from designer clothes, but I love my black Guinness T-Shirt.

10. I don’t currently own a biker wallet but I am looking for one that I could take the chain on and off for when I’m at work.

11. My bike is not a Garage Queen, but only gets ridden at least five days a week and is usually parked out in the elements all day at work.

12. I have to ride to work in dress slacks and other times I like my black Wranglers.

13. I wear oversized Street & Steel Leather Chaps when the weather warrants.

14. I wear my Harley, or my Bates boots to ride in.

15. I work on my own bike.

16. I wear Oakley Sunglasses my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas many years ago or some inexpensive clear motorcycle glasses at night.

17. I have a Guardian Angel Bell hanging off the bottom of my motorcycle that my daughter gave me.

18. I enjoy reading about motorcycling.

19. I like motorcycle racing.

20. I publish a blog about motorcycles and motorcycling.

21. I tweet about motorcycling, Torch762.

22. I don’t belong to a Motorcycle Club.

23. I like other folks that ride other brands and classes of two wheeled transportation.

24. I have not been riding since birth.


So, despite that I ride more days than not, and even in the rain, (they think I’m crazy at work), I am just a “Poser” after all. I think I’ll keep on riding, enjoying the experience, and just be myself.


Ride on,
Torch

Tips for Riding in Dallas, Texas

Image via Wikipedia

Tips for Riding in Dallas, Texas

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.)

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that; we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth!"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ...

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ...

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman ...

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph, anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have un-posted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.
If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to Be armed in Texas

Ride on,
Torch

Note: I shamelessly stole this off an email, finding it so funny and true. Plus, the fact that I commute daily here, I just had to pass it on.

What to Do When You Can’t Ride?

Image via Wikipedia

What to Do When You Can’t Ride?

There are a lot of reasons why you may not be able to go riding on your motorcycle. A few things that may stand in your way are, work, health, financial, weather, equipment, and To-Do Lists. Of course, none of them are good reasons not to ride. Here is a short list of suggestions of things that you can do that are motorcycle related when you cannot get out on the open road:

Wash your bike

Catch up on your biker forum dejour

Perform routine maintenance on your bike

Go shopping for motorcycle equipment or paraphernalia

Read a good book about motorcycling

Read some good motorcycle blogs

Watch motorcycle shows on TV, the Internet, or DVD

Catch up on the latest motorcycle news

Perform modifications on your ride

Check in on your Twitter friends

Install accessories on your bike

Join a motorcycle organization

Read a good motorcycle magazine

Browse or buy some motorcycle art

Plan your next trip or long ride

Go shopping for more motorcycle accessories

If you are a blogger, update your blog


You get the idea. Now I’ve got to get to work on my new header….

Ride on,
Torch

Song of the Rolling Sirens

Song of the Rolling Sirens

It was a dark spring morning and a blanket of ominous clouds hovered low in the sky making the air thick with humidity. I started the V-Star and her 1063 cc’s of v-twin power roared to life as I hit the garage door opener button to close the garage. It was 6:00 am and I was hoping my neighbors did not hate me and my Cobra exhaust as I turned out of the driveway and started on my commute to work.

Passing the local Waffle house on my way to the freeway the odors of waffles, eggs, sausage, and bacon, beckoned me to stop and eat. I sighed at what was not to be as I approached the light downshifting twice to turn onto the access road to get on the on-ramp to the two lane freeway. Three quarters of the way up the on-ramp my left turn signal was on as I shifted into third. I have decided that this was the most fun part of any ride, the acceleration to get up to speed, after all, there are no laws that limit how fast you can get up to the speed limit.

In no time I’m at the end of this stretch of highway as it makes a graceful right hand turn and merges with another section this time three lanes wide. Tending to run faster than the other traffic I again apply my left turn signal and change lanes twice double checking the lane next to me each time before changing lanes. In the fast lane I pulled in right behind another motorcyclist traveling slightly faster than me possibly on a Harley-Davidson by the sound of the engine.

I sped up a little to keep up with the other motorcyclist. Traffic is usually not too bad this time of the morning as long as you do not get stuck behind a row of vehicles all traveling the same speed so that you cannot get by in the fast lane. Some people will just not change lanes even though slower traffic is supposed keep right. Just about then is when I started to hear the Song.

An eighteen wheeler was in the middle lane and I was passing on the left tracking in the left hand side of my lane. As I drew closer the sound of their Song got louder. I glanced at all those wheels, each one almost half as tall as me. These Sirens are calling to me, luring me to look at them. I try to look away. Mistress, my bike, says, “Watch where we are going.” We were approaching a left hand curve on the highway.

I move lane position to the right side of my lane in preparation of the curve doing the outside, inside, outside track thing like I don’t really know how tight the curve is. This places me right next to the leviathans’ rear trailer wheels. I glance over and the Sirens Song is sweeter, louder, calling me closer as I strain to look away. “Look away, don’t stare at the beast,” I say to myself, probably out loud.

I’m slightly behind the rigs two sets of double tires now and nearing the apex of the curve. The muscles in my legs and arms tighten up and get stiff as the sirens voices start screaming louder at me as I fight to avert my eyes and turn my bike away from our deadly track. All I need to do is pull back slightly on the right handlebar and Mistress will respond leaning left and turning left out of that outer track but I find myself fighting the Sirens hypnotic Song. The Sirens Song is a screaming crescendo now pulling at Mistress and trying to make us crash against the mighty Leviathan.

My pulse has quickened and my breathing has almost stopped as I try to force her to turn left fighting against the handle bars that feel like hard taffy. She does not respond to manhandling and awaits the gentle counter steer command. The bike is at the apex of the curve now and we are sliding slowly closer into the mouth of the deadly Leviathan.

We are being drawn in, pulled by the voices of the alluring Sirens. Then, Mistress’s soothingly soft sultry voice cut through the panic brought about by the Song of the Sirens telling me, “Look away from the beast and look to where you want to go.” This was said not as an order, but in a matter of fact, common sense kind of way.

Nodding in agreement I hear her and obeyed, ignoring the Sirens command I forced my eyes to look away and into the far left track of the lane I’m traveling in. I relax my arms and gently push the left handle bar forward while pulling slightly back on the right. Mistress responds with a purr and immediately leaned left and headed into the left track out of the deadly path of the stampeding Leviathan. I blocked out the compelling Song of the Sirens and speed by the eighteen wheeled monster right as the corner ends.

Breathing once again my pulse starts to slow as I take the exit to get to work. Once at work and calmed down, I had time to reflect on what had just transpired on my normal boring commute. Call it what you want, Target Fixation or the Song of the Siren, your bike will go, maybe subconsciously, where you look. Is Target Fixation just an excuse, a Myth, or an Urban Legend? Having first hand battled it and won, I think not. So, glance at obstacles just long enough to recognize them for what they are and then look back where you want to go. If you don’t, you may succumb to the call of the Sirens, and smash into the very obstacle you are staring at, and trying desperately to avoid.

Ride on,
Torch

Look In the Direction You Are Traveling...

Even If it’s Backing Up!

No, this is not an article about Target Fixation.

So far I have helped teach four of my teenagers how to drive an automobile, and only have two more to go. I do have some hair left, but it is rapidly graying. One of the first things I try to drill in their impenetrable, all knowing heads, is to always look where you are going, especially when backing up. They always seem to have a problem with watching where they are going when backing up.

The main problem is not that they don’t initially look behind them before backing, its continuing to look while they are backing. They tend to turn back around while they are still moving backwards, instead of waiting until the vehicle has come to complete stop. And, as you know, all kinds of things can pop up behind you when backing up.

What does all of this have to do with motorcycling? Well, the same principle applies with motorcycles. You need to look in the direction you are traveling at all times, even if it is while backing up. Too bad I don’t always follow my own advice…

After commuting home from work one day I found my ’98 Ford Explorer parked fairly close to the garage door. We try to keep it parked back down the driveway so I can ride around the left side on the grass to get the bike around it and into the garage. I’m sure one of my kids did it. Anyway, I decided to be lazy and get the bike inside anyway.

I pulled around the left side into the yard and this time I pulled passed the explorer and further to the left. I was going to back into the space in front of the Explorer and down into the space in front of my ’01 Windstar, which was parked further down the driveway, and then pull into the garage. I turned the front wheel to the right, glanced behind me and started backing the V-Star 1100 back and to the right. Unfortunately, I was not looking behind me as I was rolling backwards.

In my own defense there is also a small tree to the left of the driveway I had to watch out for. Well, I was slowly rolling backwards, I thought, into the driveway when I heard and felt the crunch. I think I even heard my Mistress, (my 2003 V-Star 1100), yell, “Ouch, you moron, watch where you are going!” The bike had stopped moving and I turned around to see the left rear turn signal stalk had ran into the Explorer’s bumper and had bent the stalk forwards slightly.

After dismounting and inspecting closer the turn signal had bent at an assembly joint and the Star Turn Signal Visor was dented down. I loosened the bolt and straightened the turn signal stalk. Then I just used pliers to bend the visor back into shape as best I could. I was thankful that was all my carelessness caused. Mistress said, “Be more careful and never let it happen again”. I sighed, “Yes, Ma’am!”

What is the moral of the story? Practice what you preach, and look in the direction you are traveling at all times.

Ride on,
Torch

The Stench of the Ride

The Stench of the Ride

Sometimes trying to describe the nuances of riding on two wheels to the uninitiated is hard to do. Take for example smells. Being set free from the confines of a cage lets the surrounding scents in. The smell of the Waffle House on my commute to work in the morning most of the time is an aroma that will makes me want to stop and have breakfast. Riding by restaurant row in Grapevine on my way home I can sometimes pick out the smells of steaks cooking ad that gets my salivary glands all hyped up.

There are all kinds of scents that you notice when riding a motorcycle that you never have a chance to when driving an automobile. It is probably worse here in Texas where almost everyone has their windows rolled up and air conditioners running on max. Some of these smells are, like it is going to snow, smoke from a fireplace, someone grilling or smoking a brisket, imminent rain, flower or tree blossoms, piney woods, or coastal salty air. Not all scents are fun to smell though.

Then there are the bad odors, the diesels, the cars running too rich, the sewers, the dumps and landfills. Some food establishments may smell OK on the inside, but outside emit something that’s not quite pleasurable. Most fast food places are like that. Then there is the time Thomas Ramirez had his V-Star 650. We rode to lunch one day headed to one of our favorite restaurants called El Taco H. It is located right next to the Baja Grill and is like the fast food part of the Baja Grill.

We headed our way through downtown Grapevine and through some residential neighborhoods. We passed one older home with chain link fence with several dogs in the backyard. Then it hit us. The breeze must have blown just ever so slightly and we were slapped up side the head with the worst, foulest smell of dog do-do you ever smelt. I’m talking take your breath away, nauseous type of smell. It’s like when you are riding at highway speeds on a very windy day and a strong cross wind goes across your face and you cannot take a breath.

I attempted to hold my breath until we got further away. We came to the next stop sign and Thomas, catching his breath also, said, “Did you...” I cut him off with a laugh and we laughed together, shook our heads and twisted them off to go to lunch hoping to get our appetite back. Yes, not everything smells rosy when riding a motorcycle.

Ride on,
Torch

Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

Disclaimer: Forgive me in advance for offending someone. That is definately not my intention. I’m only posting this because of the humor involved. I, in no way, wish to offend any of our women motorcyclists or women in general. I have just barrowed bits of this from various other sites and edited it to fit motorcycling. I am sure one of our female riding bloggers will come up with a list of their own of why motorcycles are better then men.



Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women


A motorcycle does not care if you are politically correct or not.
A motorcycle doesn’t complain about being tied up.
A motorcycle doesn't care when you come.
A motorcycle doesn't get jealous when you ride another motorcycle.
A motorcycle doesn't mind being parked in the ""wet spot"" that it left.
A motorcycle goes good with leather.
A motorcycle is always ready to leave on time.
A motorcycle is never late.
A motorcycle never fishes for compliments.
A motorcycle will let you have your way with it.
A motorcycle won't complain about leaving the toilet seat up.
A motorcycle won't get upset if you come home with alcohol on your breath.
A motorcycle won't make you eat some experimental meal.
A motorcycle won't make you go to church.
A motorcycle won't make you sleep on the couch.
After you have ridden a motorcycle, you're committed to nothing.
If a motorcycle leaks all over the garage, it smells kind of good.
If you change Motorcycles, you don't have to pay alimony.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.
If you twist your throttle hard enough, you will always get ahead.
If your Motorcycle doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
It’s always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
Motorcycle labels come off without a fight.
Motorcycle labels don't go out of style every year.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles always look the same in the morning.
Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
Motorcycles are always easy to pick up.
Motorcycles are easy to dress up.
Motorcycles are easy to get on.
Motorcycles are fun to ride in a group.
Motorcycles are never overweight.
Motorcycles can’t change its mind.
Motorcycles don’t care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
Motorcycles don’t care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don’t care if you are late.
Motorcycles don’t demand equality.
Motorcycles don’t get cold hands/feet.
Motorcycles don’t get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
Motorcycles don’t get pregnant.
Motorcycles don’t have parents.
Motorcycles don’t insult you if you are a bad rider.
Motorcycles don’t mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Motorcycles don’t remember.
Motorcycles don’t snore.
Motorcycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
Motorcycles won't blow you off.
Motorcycles don't care if you have no culture or manners.
Motorcycles don't complain about insensitivity.
Motorcycles don't complain about the way you drive.
Motorcycles don't demand legality.
Motorcycles don't get bad breath.
Motorcycles don't get cramps.
Motorcycles don't go crazy once a month.
Motorcycles don't have a lawyer.
Motorcycles don't have a mother.
Motorcycles don't have morals.
Motorcycles don't live with its mother.
Motorcycles don't look you up in a month.
Motorcycles don't make you go shopping.
Motorcycles don't mind football season.
Motorcycles don't mind getting dirty.
Motorcycles don't mind if you fart or belch.
Motorcycles don't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Motorcycles don't need much closet space.
Motorcycles don't need to go to the 'powder room'.
Motorcycles don't pout or play games.
Motorcycles don't tease you or play hard to get.
Motorcycles don't tell you to mow the grass.
Motorcycles don't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
Motorcycles don't use up your toilet paper.
Motorcycles don't wear a bra.
Motorcycles don't worry about someone walking in.
Motorcycles don't worry about waking the kids.
Motorcycles go down the road easy.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles never argue with you.
Motorcycles never ask for the remote.
Motorcycles never ask if an accessory makes it look fat.
Motorcycles never change the station.
Motorcycles never complain when you don’t stop and ask for directions.
Motorcycles never complain when you take it somewhere.
Motorcycles never have a headache.
Motorcycles never say no.
Motorcycles never talk back.
Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Motorcycles won't run off with your credit cards.
Motorcycles’ curves never sag.
No matter how many times you ride it, the motorcycle is still worth something.
Oil stains wash out.
One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.
Road rash heals.
When motorcycles get old you trade it out.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
When you go shopping, you know you can always pick up a motorcycle.
When your motorcycle is gone, you just get another.
With the odometer on zero, you always know that you are the first one to ride a motorcycle.
You can always talk to your motorcycle.
You can choke your motorcycle.
You can dress warmly and still ride a frigid motorcycle.
You can enjoy a motorcycle all month.
You can have more than one motorcycle.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can legally rent a motorcycle.
You can ride a motorcycle all night.
You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
You can ride a motorcycle in public.
You can ride more than one motorcycle a night and not feel guilty.
You can share a motorcycle with your friends.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
You can upgrade your motorcycle at any time.
You can't catch anything but “euphoria” from a motorcycle.
You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don’t have to convince your Motorcycle that you’re a motorcyclist and that you think that all Motorcycles are equals.
You don’t have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don’t have to pay child support to an ex-motorcycle.
You don’t have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
You don’t have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
You don't have to wash a motorcycle before it looks good.
You don't have to wine and dine a motorcycle.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is worn.
You rarely (if ever) find motorcycle labels on the shower curtain rod.
Your Motorcycle doesn’t care what you’re wearing when you take it out.
Your motorcycle doesn’t get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Your motorcycle will always wait patiently for you in the garage.
Your motorcycle won’t leave you for another rider.
Your motorcycle won’t wake you up at 2:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Ride on,
Torch