Why Don't You Get Rid of That Donorcycle?

The term "donorcycle" irritates me. At least, it did, until I thought about the people who use it. See, using the word comes across as angry and scornful, but it's really just disguising the speaker's fear.

Sure, sure, they go on about "all these" motorcyclists (usually in gangs of 50 or more, as I hear it) who fly through traffic with little regard for the safety of those around them. Why, they got cut off one time by a guy on a bike! Another time a whole bunch of motorcycles passed them, and they were so loud, and dressed so strangely!

If you listen to them long enough, their fear becomes more evident. Are they afraid of motorcycles? Sure, at first glance. But are they really afraid of a machine that merely provides thrust and a means to direct it? No, what these folks are really afraid of is the underlying psychology of freedom and self-reliance.

I believe certain people are afraid of bikers for the same reason certain people are afraid of clowns.

...Yes, I just compared bikers and clowns in a positive way. Bear with me, it'll make sense in a second.

To badly rephrase something Tom Robbins wrote, people are afraid of clowns because they are absolutely free. Clowns do whatever the hell they want to. Most folks, on the other hand, do not. Instead they live by a set of rules taught to them by an external authority figure, be it school, religion, government, marketing, bosses or that old guy down the street. People who don't live by these same arbitrary rules are bad.

A biker deliberately undertakes an activity he or she knows is risky. What's more, a biker professes to enjoy this risky activity, even though our health teachers told us not to. How dare we? We need to get back in the boxes with the other happy drones, and stop making them uncomfortable with our leather jackets and dirty fingernails. Living the life we see fit to live, a life of freedom, joy and known risk, is unacceptable to these folks. They're a step away from yelling at us to get a haircut and a job.

We bikers are an eccentric bunch. I don't mean the hawg-polishin'-ridin'-two-miles-to-the-bar-in--chaps-and-fringe bikers - those guys get spooked and go back to their beige lives pretty quickly. No, I mean the guys who ride the hell out of their bikes, all year round - or at least as much of the year as they can. We have our own ideas about what's awesome, what's not, and how we want to live. If you disagree with us, well, it must suck to be you. It takes a different mindset to realize it's better to live your own great, risky life than a mediocre "safe" life.

And just how "safe" is this proposed life, anyway? I could stay in bed all day, every day, for fear of death. But then I'm taking a risk of having a blood clot in my leg break loose and lodge somewhere lethal. We're all going to die. If you have to die, wouldn't you like to have lived an amazing life?

This idea is just as true for our work, our family life, our hobbies, everything we do. Would you rather fit in and get along, or live in a way other people wish they could live? It's not hard, but it is a choice we all have to make: fit in, or make the world fit us.

Get rid of my donorcycle? Forget it.